From Accountant to Author: Ruby Raynes’ Inspiring Journey – Midlife Career Change, Ep. 4

Knowing that my family, like my stepmom, was going to read the things that I put down on paper. And neighbors, that was another big thing, too. It's not just my life. It's my husband's, it's my daughter's.

But I didn't want to hide who I am or what I did. So I had to be really confident in our neighbors to know that they were going to embrace me and our family and be supportive.

And they're unbelievably supportive. I. I try really hard and I can't believe I did it. I still can't believe I did it.

Hi there. This is her intentional reset, a podcast for women in menlife, curious about whether the career they chose 20 years ago still fits.

Hear from women who've made pivots big and small. Discuss the practical realities, the trade offs, and whether the change was worth it.

I'm your host, Molly Wipperfirth and I want to thank you for joining. If you're new here, welcome. I'm glad you found us in between episodes.

Join on Instagram and facebook@herintentionalreset.co that's co for guest behind the scenes and what's coming next. Now, let's get into today's conversation. Ruby Rains is a romance author who lives a delightful double life.

By day she's an accountant, numbers, spreadsheets and precision. And by night, she's the author of Love and Ink series, books of low ink's high spice MM romance that have found a devoted and growing readership.

In the past four years, she has published four books, launched an Audible deal and watched every book in her series go further than the one before. What readers don't see. She wrote her third book, Jasper, the one that went to number one while going through breast cancer treatment.

She did it anyway. Like all book lovers, she always has her Kindle on hand and only the very best content line her bookshelves.

She writes low ink stories because her poor heart just can't take it. You'll find her books to be fun and light hearted, but still so full of love and spice.

She lives in Minnesota with her husband, daughter and a whole zoo of animals. I am so excited for you to meet Ruby. This is her intentional reset.

Thank you for having me.

Yes, I am so excited for you to be here. I want to paint this image in the listener's head. Counting by day who writes MM romance novels at night under a pen name.

And your books now have an audiobook. And this is all within the same 24 hours that the rest of us share the number one question. How did you get here?

A lot of late nights, a lot of time. A lot of figuring out how to make the time and just making the time and having a really amazing family who allows me to have that time.

And a weird, weird comment someone made made me go, huh, I want to try something.

What were you doing when this idea came about?

At first, I had been reading MM romance for two, three years. I was just absolutely in love with this genre. Me and a friend were talking and they were like, oh, you should write a book.

Because I read like two to three books a week. And they were like, you should write a book. This was way out of left field. And I'm like, I'm an accountant, not a writer.

And then we were joking around and I just kind of started, like, plotting in my head. I'm like, oh, it could be a bookstore owner and a tattoo shop. And started plotting the first book. And then I just went, huh, I want to try and do it.

What's worse that's going to happen? So I just started writing. And when I first started, it wasn't the intention of releasing a book.

It was just, I want to write a story and see if I can write a story. And then about a month into it, I thought, okay, like, if I'm going to do this, I might as well try and actually do it.

Write it like you're going to publish it. So then I started to really look at how do I set up the software that I'm writing, How do I publish? Like, how do people do that?

I've never been a writer. I do numbers.

I love the contrast. Can you give us a background on what this genre is?

So, mm, romance is male. Male romance. Right now, heated rivalry is a big thing. So I think the genre is blowing up.

And I love it because I feel like people are now realizing how big the genre is. I know first was writing it and reading it, and people were like, wait, what?

And I'm like, there's this homra of queer stories and queer love that I think people don't realize is there. It's been fun to watch it grow.

What is it about this genre that connect with you?

For me, I've heard this, you know, before. I think I'm not the only woman who has felt this way. I was going through a lot with just self image, how I looked, how I felt about myself.

But I loved to read. But every time I read, I couldn't help constantly comparing myself to the female character as far as physical looks.

I could never just let myself enjoy the story because I'd be like, okay, I don't look like that. Which we know romance is very exaggerated. Just it was a constant thing. I didn't go out seeking MM books, and I happened to fall upon.

And there was a shift in the way I read that book because I could read a love story and just read a love story.

I didn't have this constant battle in my head about myself where I'm focusing more on how I'm feeling than in my own hangups than I was when I was reading.

So it really freed up my love for reading and it brought closer an area that I have always been an advocate for and an ally for, which is the queer community. It's always been very big to me. I'm a love person. Everyone who knows me, I am a love. I will look for the positive. Everyone needs that.

So it was that first real book. It really changed my life, and it made the stories mean more to me.

And they need to be told and they need to be heard, and queer joy needs to be seen. And queer people need a place to be able to go and read happy stories about themselves and falling in love.

Things like heated rivalry has really brought that to the forefront. Doesn't have to be tragic, like nothing bad can happen to them.

Ruby, your first book in Love and Ink, Spencer, was the first MM romance novel that I've read, and I picked up on so many other messages in the book. Can you share some of the core messages that you wanted to convey?

Finn? I wanted for the character to show that you can walk away from people that aren't good for you like you can. You can do that to just be.

I'm going to take myself out of this equation and go be happy somewhere and fight for that. And Spencer is me. Spencer is my struggle with self image. Spencer was telling me constantly to love myself.

A lot of romance novels are core audiences, women, and I feel like a lot of women, you know, we all struggle with image. I mean, men struggle too. You know, it. It. They do. And I don't think that's brought up enough, but it's a. It's big struggle.

And for him, I wanted it to be. He was doing that. He was working on it. He was embracing who he was and loving who he was. And it was never changing for somebody else.

It was bettering himself with somebody standing by his side. And that was the biggest takeaway I ever wanted, was you can do it and still have someone by your side.

I Think.

What I love is that you are such a true writer, because you just voiced what I think is probably in every single person's head in our thoughts at one point. And you just voiced it out loud. So thank you for that. You were also telling me that the location of the book had significance.

Can you tell us about that?

Yeah. Maine. I had looked to see where gay marriage was legal first, and I had seen Maine.

And so I knew I wanted it in a place that had some significance to the story, that in. In acceptance already the whole town accepts.

I was able to quickly pick up on other subtle messaging that you had in the book about when they're looking for a place to go, how they just automatically glance to look and see that rainbow flag as a signal. Will they be safe?

I feel like the most important thing a business or anybody can do is to have that in there, because then they know. They know that they're gonna be okay there, that they're gonna be accepted.

I think that's an important message that listeners hear, an action that can be taken. I think you've done such an amazing job in making this have a deeper purpose and great messaging throughout.

You achieved your earlier goal of trying to magnify voices. Can we talk a little bit about that writing process?

For me, the process was really out of whack because I had no idea if the process of what I was doing was right or wrong or if there was even a right way to do it. When I wrote the first book, I jokingly wrote it in so I could, like, oh, do a whole series. I somehow found a found family trope.

So the Love and Ink series is very Found family stories all mingled together.

You had said previously you had spent some time watching Facebook groups or observing the romance community, understanding the genre more. What did you learn during that time?

I think the only reason that Fin did as good as it did was because I did that.

It was a lot of watching and paying attention, just paying attention to what the market was doing, what readers were asking for, and that was my biggest takeaway.

What made you decide to publish off of a pen name?

Just in the beginning, I didn't know what I was doing in that moment. I wanted that shield.

As I'm trying to figure this out and as I'm trying to see if this is actually a legitimate thing, I wanted a little bit of protection from myself, and so I did that. I didn't really care what other people thought.

Everyone around me knows by the company I work for, they know what I write, and it's almost like they're proud of me. And I'm like, you. You know, I write giddy money romance, right. But they are super supportive. So in my family and my parents.

And my friends and neighbors, any story behind Ruby Reigns. What a cool name.

So Ruby Ray is my call name for like Xbox for all of the gaming platforms. I and my husband is actually the one who came with it because he is Onyx guy. It was something years ago, say about 20 years.

I've had really neat read.

You're watching all the Facebook groups. You're learning what the romance community wants. And this is where I'm thinking like, oh, that analytical accountant perspective.

I'm starting to see that. What was your writing process for book one? When did you find the time?

When I first started. So Mia was still young. She was still going to bed in her early time. And I would write and then I would write on the weekends.

It was a lot of late nights. I try and make myself stop by one at the latest and then I get up super early. So I just made the time.

And again I had the support system to allow me to have that time. And I'm a slow writer. It took me 10 months, maybe more to write Finn. I mean, if I could write 500 words a day, I was really proud of myself.

You know, I had no idea what I was doing.

You started at never even having interest in writing a book and you wrote your first book within 10 months. I say that as phenomenal. Then with book number one, after you wrote that book, you found your first editor and then you self published on Kindle.

Walk us through what you had to figure out with publishing your book.

Yes, I pay an editor and I have a proofreader in the writing process. You have a alpha reader, a beta reader, an editor, a proofreader, and then an arc reader. So I have two alpha readers.

They're in there while I'm writing. Then after I write the story, it goes to my beta readers and they look for overall plot and character issues. It takes me 10 months to write a book.

So for me to remember what I wrote in the beginning, I mean, you can't do that. So my beta readers are amazing. Quite a few.

And then once it gets back from them, then I fix all the plot things that I can and then it goes to my editor. I think my first book was rough. The editor I had at the time was not the greatest. I think I got steered wrong for a lot of things.

Anybody who has read my first book knows the exclamation points. It was everyone's biggest complaint. And so she went, well, it's really your writing style. She started keeping them in.

When the reviews did come in, there wasn't a lot of negative reviews, but the ones that were, they were all about the exclamation points. And I was like, if my biggest thing is these exclamation points, I will take it.

So I went through myself and I just started taking out all these exclamation points. And I have a new editor now who I absolutely love. She's amazing. So it goes to her.

And then I accept and approve changes and then it goes to my proofreader who's the last rope big through before it goes to ARC readers who are the people. They get advanced copies and they usually go out and leave reviews. Each step is really super important.

And I, in that first book, did not know about all of these steps.

Yeah, you distribute it on Kindle. Any peek behind the curtain on what that process looks like?

I'm under Kindle Unlimited actual ebook purchases. There's not a lot, but my pre orders though for it were like 50. And I was like, okay, 50 people pre ordered my book. This is great.

Release day happened and I just looked at the numbers and I went, oh, wow, I'm having a few thousand pages read that first day. And I was like, that's. That's a lot. And then I watched myself slowly rise up the rank.

And then I got like to 13 for new releases in MM romance category. So I was ecstatic. Somewhere something along the way resonated with people. So Kindle Unlimited, I absolutely love it.

So if you're reading a book that is on Kindle Unlimited me, the authors get paid by page read. It's a very, very, very, very like sense on the sense purpose it says it's a small, tiny amount.

And so Amazon, you can either enlist your book in Kindle Unlimited, but if you do, then you're strictly can only do your ebook through Amazon. If you don't, if you just put it up there as an ebook and not a part of the Kindle Unlimited, you can then sell your book at any other place.

So my ebook can only be sold through Amazon, but my paperbacks and all that kind of stuff I can sell through my own website.

For me, I will more than likely be in Kindle Unlimited for a really long time because I'm new and I would be foolish to not utilize that avenue to try and get new readers. You know, there are other ways that you can go about it, but I don't necessarily have the skills. So I stick right now.

Amazon can be limited and I just put my head down and someday I'd like to go wide. But I am nowhere near ready for that. I still have a lot to learn.

Well, you are also working a full time job on top of that. And tell us then when you got the Audible deal.

I am a huge audiobook nerd.

I knew I wanted to do an audiobook and I had put it up to see if anybody would be willing to do like a profit share with me where like they would record it, we would split it. I had one guy who he's like, I know your story and I'm gonna help you and I'm gonna do whatever we can to get this book, you know.

And then I got ghosted. I was devastated, absolutely devastated. But I thought, okay, I'm not gonna give up. I'm going to contact.

Tanner and Podium are the two really big audiobook production companies that work in the queer community. So I asked a lot of authors, how do I do this?

And they're a few weeks before Jasper comes out, send a message to them saying, hey, I have these books out, this one coming out, Are you interested?

And Jasper is this book 3.

Jasper's book 3. Jasper released and did really well. And within a day or two Podium had reached out because Jasper had gone number one for new release.

And we had the meeting, they came back and said, we want to purchase the rights for the first three books and then we want to purchase the rights to the Ruby Rains pen name.

So they wanted it so that anything that I wrote, I had to approach them first to see if they wanted it and then if they didn't want it or if they can offer it to me and then I can also turn them down if I really wanted to do that. I'm kind of locked in with them now for a few years. But at the same time, I'm an indie author. I am small.

Me getting my books in front of an audiobook company every time is very valuable. So it was kind of a no brainer for me.

And I knew I needed Dom to do well to get this, to get him in there and I think to really solidify maybe that I was good enough to go into audible. And then Dom came out. Dom hit number one. Later that afternoon I got a message from Podium. Hey, we want to pick up Dom.

Are there any more going to be planned in the series? And I was very. Four was the original I wrote in a book five that I will be writing because everyone's asking for Ruby.

The consistent theme that I'm hearing is that you see an opportunity and you just go for it.

You know, I think a big takeaway, you know, to hear is just your tenacity and putting yourself out there, you know, allowing yourself to ask that question.

You know, my anxiety is horrible. You find me hidden in a corner in my hoodie. I have a hard time. So me doing any of this stuff was real outside of my comfort zone.

All of this is very outside my comfort zone. My saving grace is, I think, again, doing it with a shield.

Knowing that my family, like my stepmom, was going to read the things that I put down on paper. And neighbors, that was another big thing too. It's not just my life. It's my husband's, it's my daughters.

But I didn't want to hide who I am or what I did.

So I had to be really confident in our neighbors to know that they were gonna embrace me and our family and be supportive, and they're unbelievably supportive. I try really hard, and I can't believe I did it. I still can't believe I did it. It's still like. It's crazy.

Oh, I bet it is surreal.

I did make a couple really good author friends. And my assistant, I will talk her up because I knew if I was gonna continue this, I needed her help.

And she came along right when I needed her the most.

Can you share with us what was going on when you were writing Jasper Book three?

I had just released Jackson, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So I had just started this amazing career, and it life took a sidetrack. I was diagnosed with stage 3C breast cancer. It was very aggressive.

It was pretty far along. It's a triple negative, is, like, considered the worst because it doesn't feed off any hormones and it's harder to treat.

Luckily, it did not spread to my bones, but it spread to my lymph nodes and my chest cavity, but not my organs. I mean, I know the doctors and I know they try hard to hold that face.

I had a feeling, and I knew from the beginning how quickly everyone was working and how quickly they were moving me through that something probably wasn't really right. We started chemo right away with 20 weeks. The first few weeks were fine. They say it compounds, and, boy, were they right. We went through all of that.

I got really, really sick. I spent a lot of time in the hospital. I had a blood transfusion. I had pneumonia and just so sick.

But you still were writing.

I was still writing. So through this whole process, I was still writing. It was my saving grace. I mean, I know a lot of people were probably like, what are you doing?

Why are you stressing about writing this book? You should fighting this cancer.

And I'm like, I am all I was dealing with, with cancer and side effects and treatments and losing my hair and losing my nose hair, which was the worst because that made my nose run. So everyone kept thinking that. They were like, you're like, no, I don't think I'm actually sick though. And it wasn't.

It was just because I had no notes here. But I still, I still wrote. I would sit there and there are times when I would just stare at my screen and.

And if I was too sick, you know, I think I wrote this in my. I dedicated Jasper to Jasper. Man, that book saved me. It was my outlet. It was.

My life's too rough and I need a minute so I could throw myself into this story, into these people. And same thing like when you're just. I was too sick to write, too sick to think.

And so I could just lay and close my eyes and be in their world and think of their story and write their story in my head. I'm 100% grateful for that book. And that book's a hot mess.

I did write half of it and in a chemo induced haze and I chopped it up into a million pieces and I rearranged everything. So I somehow still.

You didn't write this book. Is there something that you would keep telling yourself every day to keep going?

Just family, like my daughter. That was the worst. I lost my mom when I was 10. My daughter is 9. So that, that hit really hard. She. She was a trooper though.

I mean, mom all of a sudden looked different. Mom all of a sudden was too sick to do anything. There was a lot. She was really amazing.

Like her, my husband who literally picked up absolutely everything. School, literally everything he had because all I could do was focus on fighting. And I mean he made it so we.

I had something to come back to when I was welling. So it was really my family and it kind of was just chug through, you know.

And we knew within a few weeks that it was working because all of a sudden it was within two treatments. I was like, this is really weird, but I kind of can't feel it. My doctor, he goes, you're right. He goes, I can't feel it either.

So we knew that it was working. And at that point I think that's Also why we went so hard when we realized, no, no, this is working.

In the end, I ended up with a complete response, which means the chemo left no traces of cancer.

Wow.

I found out after the fact that the odds of that happening for me were 1 to 3%. I had a 1 to 3% chance that would happen and I can't believe that it had happened.

And that's when I truly realized, like how, how much the odds were not in my favor and how lucky, amazingly lucky. I had an amazing doctor. I just kept chugging along. I tried to keep the humor. I pretty much joked about everything. I had Jasper and Ollie.

So to me, that book, I read it and I'm like, oh. I mean, because my editor actually. So I didn't have her at this point. The community, I want to real quick talk. The community itself is amazing.

When I got diagnosed, amount of support that I received was amazing. At that point, I didn't have an editor lined up because I didn't know what I was going to do. I knew I wasn't going to make release date.

Amazon was being not so nice and telling me that if I didn't make my release date, if I moved my release date more than 30 days, they would take away all of my pre orders. And I had the most preorders I've ever had in my whole entire life. It was way more than the other two. It took off. I was like, I can't.

And I knew this book was riding on also this audiobook. So everything was writing on this book and all of a sudden I'm having to write it in the midst of hell.

So all of a sudden realized, okay, I pushed it as much as Amazon would let me without losing my stuff. And then I just forced myself to do it. I all of a sudden went, okay, I need an editor real quick.

And I put the call out and I said, I know this is really short notice, I need someone to help me. Amazon's not going to move it. I need an editor. And Jen had stepped up and said, hey, whenever you are done, you just send it and I will edit it.

I will fit you in. And I cried. I cried and I cried because I didn't know what I was going to do. And ever since then, she's my go to editor. She's amazing.

And same thing with my proofreader. I was like, hey, can you proofread this like now? And the support was really amazing.

Everyone needs to jump to book three and see the dedication that you wrote to Jasper and Ollie. I Read it and it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing what you went through. And also I'm glad to hear the cancer is gone.

Yeah, I'm almost done. I'm still on chemo pills for the next two, three more years, I think, and then I'll be on like hormone pills.

I also get a monthly injection every month in my stomach. So April 1st, before this airs, I will be getting some boobs put back on. It's like a 12 hour surgery. I'm terrified.

But four days in the hospital after that and then like two, three months of recovery. So I'm going to be t rexing it. I just got to Give yourself a couple weeks and then she's to allow me to at least write a little.

Wow. It's a very long journey.

Yeah.

I'm glad you're up to this point where now it's that road to recovery.

I'm really ready for it. I remember when everything kind of stopped. I was like, I don't know how to have a normal conversation.

How do you have a conversation where it's not what you talk about? I mean, a good year, it was all anybody talked about, which was fine. But at the same time, now I'm like, I want it to not be my life.

I have other things. I have my daughter, I have writing.

You know, I get even more how you're saying that, you know, these stories are your outlet. So you alluded to a new story idea that you have. So what is next?

So I am really excited. I started a new series. This one takes place in Minnesota. It is a ski resort on the northern shore.

It'll hopefully have the same feel as the other ones, which is light, funny, not too serious. They're supposed to be fun stories.

This one is a event planner who comes to this ski resort to help plan events, especially throughout the summer when business isn't quite so busy. And the night before he flies into Duluth, goes out and meets a sexy man at the bar, and things happen.

And then the next day he realizes it's his new boss.

I love it.

I'm really excited to put all of that knowledge. I'm still going to make mistakes and this will forever be a learning process for me just because it's not something that I ever saw myself doing.

And I think for me to do it, I need to make it a continual learning process.

So I know everyone wants to know a little bit about the practical considerations, any other financial considerations for an indie or new author getting their first book published.

You don't need a Worried software started in one, but in the end everything gets put into Google Doc and my editor and it's everything in Google Doc. Once I'm done writing all of the other parts of it, it's in Google Docs.

So in all reality, if somebody really, if they don't want to pay for a software, I mean, Google Docs eventually going to get into that format anyway. I also did my very first cover that was like 35 bucks. It was really cheap. But I will say spend the money on an editor.

I wasn't going to get an editor. I thought, oh, I have editing software, it'll be fine. No, no, no, it's not. You need to pay for an editor.

Guy spent like 3, 400 on an editor where that was maybe a hundred bucks or something. So it is not astronomical.

You had mentioned previously that with self publishing there's that passive income, but there's also the expenses that you've taken on. At what point point do you think the math works in your favor to be able to walk away from your day job and is that your goal?

I would 100% love for that to happen. If I had 20 bucks in my back catalog, then maybe it could be something you have to get that back catalog.

But I do really well on release day, release months, maybe the month after release. I do pretty good. I do on a monthly basis.

I do enough to pay for like my businesses like my accounting software and my website and my pa. She is somebody that I will always have that expense on because I need her. My assistant though. So have you ever had to fire someone when you're in the midst of chemo? So my first assistant, it was rough.

I had her for maybe about a year and unfortunately things just weren't getting done. It was just not a great situation. It was not something that I wanted to do because I was so sick.

I talked to her first to try and like, hey, this is what needs to happen. But it just wasn't working. So I said, I'm really sorry, but I right now can't.

I would rather have nothing than somebody who's representing me not in to what I feel like should be. You're representing me. And y. I put the call out there and I just said, this is everything that someone's going to need to do.

I put the caveat at the end of, hey, I'm in the midst of cancer treatments and I'm almost literally going to throw this at you and need you to just take the wheel and kind of do whatever you can, you know, And I owned Marianne and she's out of Norway. I basically threw everything at her, everything. And said, I need you at this very moment to be me. I have a street team that does my marketing.

So I have these wonderful readers who go out on social media and post my graphics and my promos and things I have coming up.

So she handles my street team, she handles my arc team, she does all of my advertising and promo, she does most of my graphics, she handles my newsletter. If I could give her the world, I would because she gave me the freedom.

She gave me the time to write my book, to fight cancer, to have my family and to still have time for my family. I really did throw everything at her. And so when I go to bed, usually like 11 o' clock at night and she's getting up in the mornings,.

I think that's an interesting peek behind the curtains on also the amount of marketing, promotion, PR that you're doing as well behind the scenes. And it's great to hear that you're at a point where now you can have a team help you do that instead of trying to navigate all on your own.

And our in the, in the MM romance community, we do newsletter swaps. I have a sign up sheet that other authors sign up to be on my newsletter. It's a good way for all of us to network.

And two most, a lot of the people signing up have read my stuff. So yeah, they want to know what else can I give them or show them what else Other authors who I want to promote, I want everyone to do well.

I want all of these Indians to rock it because to me, there is enough readers for all of us.

Yes, I love that attitude. And it's even very similar to the workplace where it's women supporting women, you know, good people supporting good people.

There's room for everyone to succeed. And that's what I hear you saying in this genre as well.

Yes.

Great to hear that you're being an advocate.

I feel like if it wasn't for people teaching me how to do this and taking the time, I would never know. And I want to do the same thing for other people and I want to spread their books.

When we first started this conversation, you were talking about expanding the community, the MM romance community, expanding the queer love community, spreading that word. And I also just love, you know, I'm sensing from you this author community how building you're building that community this way as well.

So it's part of your personality, Ruby, to build that authentic connection.

I've had enough shit in my life. I can swear, right? Yeah.

Yes.

I've had enough crap. I want everyone to be happy. I want people who are having a horrible crap time to have a place to go and let themselves see happy.

I want that queer person who feels alone and may not be in a community where they can be themselves or a community where they can see themselves, but they can pick up a book and see themselves and they can pick up a book and see a positive love story where nobody dies and everybody loves. Yes, everybody is supportive and everyone supports each other.

In all of my books, all of my characters support each other because I even tell my daughter this. I'm like, you better be supporting your friends. You better be cheering your friends on. Like they, like they got into a dance team and she didn't.

And I said, but you be happy for them. Like, it sucks. I'm so sorry. And you're gonna work hard and you know, they're your friends and man, are you proud of them.

And he's like, yeah, yeah, I am. And I feel like that needs to be more in the world. I feel like the world doesn't need to be a competition again. Representation needs to be seen.

The queer community deserves to see themselves in a happy light. Even if it's a fictional town with fictional people in an over exaggerated love story, it's still representation.

I feel like it's also a way to bring in those allies, the amount of readers that are actual true allies and who reading books like this will help spread that queer joy and that knowledge that all of this is out there is more valuable than the icky people who are just fetishizing and being.

Weird, making an impact. I know you are Ruby.

I hope so.

You've talked about how supportive your husband has been throughout this entire journey. You've talked a little bit about your daughter. What do you hope that she takes away watching you through all of this.

To follow your dreams? I mean, that's the most basic thing. She knows what I write. She tells everyone my mom is Ruby.

I remember one time we're walking through the librarian and she's like, oh, this is my mom. Her pen name is Ruby and she writes gay romance songs. She knows I write love stories about two men falling in love and obviously our family.

It's important for me that she sees that and knows that because of her aunt and just what I'm writing, this will be stuck in her head.

And I want it to be because the best thing I can ever teach her is just love and love everyone and yes, love Those who society is trying to push down.

You know, I think you're not only teaching her love everyone, but also take action.

Yeah. You know, I hope, too. Like, it's hard because in the beginning, I worried it was a really big struggle.

I cried a lot because I worried I was not a good mom because I was spending so much time writing. Because when I started writing, I was feeling lost. I didn't know who I was. But it's not a bad thing because it made me find myself.

And I feel like everybody. We all get to a point in our life where we just forget who we are and we forget what we're doing. We don't do anything for ourselves.

I was a mother and a wife. I was like, but what am I? Who am I? What's for me?

And I had to not feel guilty that I was taking the time for myself because I didn't want her looks at her mom who's struggling and is lost, and she sees that. No, that's not what she sees. She sees a mom who, at 40, decided she was gonna write a book. Like, this girl can do whatever she wants.

I just hope that's what she sees.

Well, I think if she's telling everyone at school that she knows that your pen name and that you're writing romance.

Novels, I think she's proud she is the dedication infant. But she also can't read the books. But. No, you can read the dedication.

Do you think at some point there will be a point when it will drop the pen name?

No, I think I'll always be Ruby. Just because it now signifies and represents something to me.

I feel like Ruby is a separate person and don't ever want to diminish what that pen name and what that has done for me. So I'm. I will always be Ruby.

Can you share what Ruby has brought to you?

Happiness. Loving myself. Like, really figuring out how to love myself.

And then lately I have the weirdest hair in the world because it's growing back and it's cancer. Yes. I had gotten to the point where I was going to show my face, and then that happened, and I was like, I guess that's gonna wait a bit.

Because I don't want to hide who I am. Just maybe my personal name, but who I am, what I look like, the fact that I am a real person. I don't want to hide that.

I have romantic con coming up this summer where I will be meeting readers and I know pictures will be taken. So I'm hoping by that point I'll Feel confident enough in myself and in my hair. I'll keep ruby rains.

But I do plan on showing the world that I am a human.

With everything that you've shared, how do you celebrate those moments where you just sit back and look at all that you've accomplished?

I try and celebrate everything because for me, it is something I never thought I would do. I mean, I try and make sure that I do celebrate everything. And my husband, he'll celebrate and remind me every time.

I'd be like, nobody's gonna read my stuff. I'm a horrible author. And he just looks at me like, you can't say that anymore. I mean, right? Look. And I'm like, oh, but I.

You still have that imposter syndrome, okay? And that's what I feel. 90 Of the time, I feel like an imposter. I feel like I am an accountant. Like really hard to wrap my head around.

I don't know if I'll ever fully believe that this is what I am, but I'm still gonna celebrate, okay? Because it was hard.

Do you think it's part of that ongoing self love and confidence that you're working through that's part of the disbelief with all that you've accomplished or calling yourself an author?

Yeah, I definitely do. The weird thing about being an author is you're literally putting yourself out there for people to judge you.

And for someone like me who really struggles with self confidence, it's a double edged sword because here I am doing this, trying to build my confidence, trying to put myself out there in something that is a struggle in everyday life. And then I'm doing this at a higher level and then I'm saying, judge me, read me and then judge the crap out of me. That's hard.

But again, I feel very lucky that it's mostly been positive. I've had more positive than negative. It will always be a struggle because every release day I'm putting my own confidence to the test.

And I always think, you know what, every release day it's going to get easier and nope, every release day it gets harder and harder. And I think for me, one of the hardest things I had was after Jasper did so well. Amazing. And my worry and the worry came when Dom released book four.

I was so worried that the only reason Jasper did good was because I had cancer and people felt bad for.

Me and people knew that. Okay, got it.

And I thought the only reason that did well is because people felt bad for me and it's all sympathy. So this last one was probably the Hardest. As far as it said, nothing to do with cancer.

This book had to do with whether or not I was good enough for people to want to pick up and read to the fourth book. Like, I still had to get people to that fourth book. So, you know, you hope people read book one and go, okay, very first book ever.

I just hope that people see every single book, they see my writing getting better and better.

That makes sense that as your expectations grow with each successful book, you are expecting more and more out of yourself. So that makes sense why it becomes a little bit more nerve wracking with each book release.

But I also hope, though, you know, confidence is all about putting those reps in and having that positive result. So there's that balance too, you know, you're seeing those positive results that I hope that your confidence should be coming with that as well too.

Definitely better than it was. I do see myself growing, and I'm pretty proud of that. I can't believe I did it. I still can't believe I did it. It's still like, it's crazy.

Oh, I bet it is surreal. I'm gonna put your confidence to the test and I'm gonna do that because you put in the reps.

So I'm gonna ask you, what do you think are some of the strengths or the skills that helped you get this far to have four books published, have that Audible deal, have another book series in the works? What are some of the things that you've brought to the table to help you get here?

I think I just try. I just literally am trying and learning. Don't be afraid to ask the questions.

I think a lot of the times we're afraid to ask the questions because we're afraid to look. Not great, but also the feedback. You have to be able to take the feedback.

It may hurt, but just because it hurts doesn't mean that I don't make every effort to learn from that and to move forward. You can't be afraid to learn well,.

You know, you've been so humble throughout this entire conversation, and you still remain humble when you talk about your strengths. Well, how we see ourselves is sometimes different than how others see us. And most of the time, especially women, we undersell our strengths.

So I want to share what Marianne Krabsa, your pa, your rock in Norway, had to say about your superpower. Marianne said, ruby is a fighter. She is truly one of the most genuine, kind, and supportive human beings that I have ever known.

She has one of the greatest senses of humor as well. I think Marianne adores you just as much as you adore her.

Yeah, I really.

When you hear those words from her, what comes up for you?

That's how you always hope people will see you. I can only do my best. And so hearing stuff like that, it's just nice knowing that that's how you hope people see you.

Wow, there's so much crying happening right now.

I hope this feels cathartic.

It does. Okay, good.

Well, let's lighten the mood a little bit. Let's move on to our rapid round. And this is a fun segment because we are not all just career women. We don't have to talk about cancer 24 7.

Tell me, do you have a favorite? Go to recipe.

Do have one. I'm not a big cook. Never really been that great at cooking. My husband cooks a lot of our meals. You have one.

And mine is a three cheese tortellini, sausage and tortellini, which is really super good. Seems to be a fan favorite in our house.

Awesome. You can send me the recipe and we can share it. Wonderful. Do you have one networking tip?

Be afraid to ask questions and to ask for help and. And to learn. And never think that you know everything because you never will. And just make sure. Just learn.

Final question, Favorite book or TV show right now?

Favorite book is called Until I saw you by Diana Romaine, who is absolutely amazing. This book was the first book that made me cry and laugh.

This was the book that realized that I could do a heartfelt and funny that you can still bring the feelings and be funny and make it funny, but still cry and then TV show. So fun. Note. I don't want tv. I read and I write and I have nothing against tv. Love it, but I just don't have.

Time for it because you're writing book after book after book.

But I made sure that I watched Heated Robbery and right now that is my happy place. If I want to feel happy in Sunshine, I watch those last two episodes and the world is amazing.

That's been fun because it's just so popular and it's a part of my genre. And so nothing better than seeing that, like, represented.

Oh, my goodness. Ruby, thank you for this conversation.

Thank you for sharing your journey and being just so transparent and honest and with us about everything that you've gone through and where your head and your heart were when you were not only writing book one, but all the way through this series. You came in today as an accountant who writes books, but I'm leaving with so much more than that. You started with an idea.

You wrote not one but four books. I'm also walking away with your message of to just try to just ask the question that you're thinking and to just start, just start the process.

And you did all of this through cancer.

You just kept going and you still get to get up every day and go and do your job and then you come home and you write in the evening what big beautiful life that you're building. So thank you for sharing all of that.

Thank you for having me. It's nice. It's been nice to kind of remind myself everything that has just happened in the last four years.

Yes, tell us the name again of your current book series and where listeners can find your books and where they can follow along with you on social.

So the first series is called Is Love and Ink. The books are Finn, Jackson, Jasper and Dominic. The fifth book is coming for those listening that know. I can be found on Amazon.

Also my website rubyrains.com I have all of the illustrated covers, book boxes, all that kind of stuff on social media. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook. I have a Facebook reader group which has a ton of people in there. We do weekly fun interacting things.

There's usually giveaways and stuff like that. So that's another one little thing that I can do to interact with the readers. You can find me there and on Audible.

Great. Thank you Ruby and thank you listeners for being here. Ruby wrote her first book in the middle of not knowing where she was going with this.

Then she decided to publish it. She wrote her third book during cancer treatment. If she found the time, you can find yours.

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe on your streaming platform so you never miss a conversation and share this with one person who needs to hear it. Every subscribe and share helps the algorithm get to know the show and get this in front of more women who are asking the same questions that we are.

That's how we grow this community together. And remember to explore on your own terms because nothing changes if nothing changes. Ruby and I had a three hour conversation one Saturday afternoon.

If you would like to hear more about Ruby's story about a deeper dive into the publishing process. Ruby discusses choosing her cover art, choosing her speakers for her audiobook, and just more about her cancer journey as well.

All of that will be available on in bonus content@herintentionalreset.com I was really excited to have Ruby on this show because I wanted to get a better understanding of the publishing world and that's because one of my goals this next year, besides launching this podcast, is to write a book. I've had this.

I don't know if dream is the right word, but I've had this desire to try writing a book for a really long time and that's going to be a part of my gap year. So part of these podcasts is my way of sharing stories.

And granted, I get it, it's all in audio form, but I'm going to be flexing my writing muscles on my website, on my blog, where I'll be able to have a little bit more thoughtful, deeper down reflections on the things that I'm learning this year, the people that I'm talking to.

So again, feel free to follow along on her intentionalreset.com and like everything like with this podcast, I'm being open and transparent, which is very similar to what Ruby was saying about it being hard and being vulnerable. So don't judge me too harshly as I try to start writing and and flex that muscle. I'll provide more background on my why for that on my website soon.

So that was my initial reason why I wanted Ruby on the show. What has been the most unexpected joy in this podcast endeavor thus far, though, is meeting incredible people like Ruby.

It's just been an absolute gift to be able to have these conversations with people that I probably wouldn't have crossed paths with or maybe wouldn't have had this deep dive of a conversation. And it is just the best feeling after every conversation. I feel like I'm on cloud nine.

I feel so inspired, I feel uplifted and I feel really motivated to just continue to figure out what is this next thing that I want to be doing. These real life stories are better than anything that I'm watching on TV or movies that are on right now and it's just the best.

So I am rambling a ton. If today's episode got you thinking, I'd love to keep that conversation going.

Sign up for my email list@her intentionalreset.com and you'll get the latest episodes as they drop.

Additional resources from our guests and bonus content and access to our community forum where women are keeping this conversation going in between episodes. That will be all available very soon on my website. Sign up@herintentionalreset.com. I'll see you there and I'll see you next episode. Bye everyone.